Viking Lore Lovers Gifts

'You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!'

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

"Can Olaf come out to pillage and plunder?"

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

'A message from the Vikings, sire. It says, 'we've got spirit! Yes, we do! We've got spirit! How about you!?'

"I'd heard that Farnsworth had a difficult secretary to get past."

'I miss the good old days!'

Viking sitting patiently while his wife winds her wool on his helmets horns to sort it out.

"And I suppose you forgot to bring home the milk."

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

"But I use all of them!"

"There's always a period of adjustment whenever you hire a new crew."

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

'If all your friends were looting and pillaging, would you do it, too?'

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

Stabbing an opera singer to hit the high notes.

'Raping and pillaging, Seniors' Tour, 898AD.'

"I don't care if you are on full alert, take that silly hat off before you tear the pillows to shreds!"

Gaah! You sank my longship!

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

"Magnus! How many times must I tell you...Skulls of your enemies go on the top rack!!!"

"Do you think the world really is going to hell, or are we just getting old?"

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

Viking in the dock: His barrister says: 'Your honour, my client was simply expanding his business interests. We object to the use of the word 'pillaging'.'

"They say at least 80% of us are wearing the wrong size."

Really Early Vikings

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

"So that's five for bailing, and three for patching. If there are no objections, the chair will now hear arguments."

"Run for your lives! It's the full 'Ring' cycle!!"

Viking warrior has admirer.