Viking History Gifts

Model Ship with Galley Slaves

"Since Gerald discovered he had 5% Viking DNA he insists on fitting in a bit of pillaging before tea."

"It doesn't mean anything. I just like how it looks."

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

"According to our information you have placed a looted treasure in an undiscovered land..."

Worst rebranding ever.

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

Horned costume.

Rainbow bridge to Valhalla

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

"Can Olaf come out to pillage and plunder?"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

'A message from the Vikings, sire. It says, 'we've got spirit! Yes, we do! We've got spirit! How about you!?'

"I'd heard that Farnsworth had a difficult secretary to get past."

'I miss the good old days!'

Viking sitting patiently while his wife winds her wool on his helmets horns to sort it out.

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

"But I use all of them!"

"And I suppose you forgot to bring home the milk."

"There's always a period of adjustment whenever you hire a new crew."

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

'If all your friends were looting and pillaging, would you do it, too?'

'Raping and pillaging, Seniors' Tour, 898AD.'

Stabbing an opera singer to hit the high notes.

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

Gaah! You sank my longship!

"Ramming Speed!"

"I don't care if you are on full alert, take that silly hat off before you tear the pillows to shreds!"

"Do you think the world really is going to hell, or are we just getting old?"