Viking History Gifts

Model Ship with Galley Slaves

"Since Gerald discovered he had 5% Viking DNA he insists on fitting in a bit of pillaging before tea."

"It doesn't mean anything. I just like how it looks."

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

"According to our information you have placed a looted treasure in an undiscovered land..."

Worst rebranding ever.

Horned costume.

Rainbow bridge to Valhalla

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

"I'd heard that Farnsworth had a difficult secretary to get past."

'A message from the Vikings, sire. It says, 'we've got spirit! Yes, we do! We've got spirit! How about you!?'

'I miss the good old days!'

Viking sitting patiently while his wife winds her wool on his helmets horns to sort it out.

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

"But I use all of them!"

"There's always a period of adjustment whenever you hire a new crew."

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

'If all your friends were looting and pillaging, would you do it, too?'

Stabbing an opera singer to hit the high notes.

'Raping and pillaging, Seniors' Tour, 898AD.'

"Magnus! How many times must I tell you...Skulls of your enemies go on the top rack!!!"

"I don't care if you are on full alert, take that silly hat off before you tear the pillows to shreds!"

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

"Ramming Speed!"

"Do you think the world really is going to hell, or are we just getting old?"

Gaah! You sank my longship!

Viking in the dock: His barrister says: 'Your honour, my client was simply expanding his business interests. We object to the use of the word 'pillaging'.'

"They say at least 80% of us are wearing the wrong size."

Really Early Vikings