Viking Myths Gifts

"Call that a hammer?"

Wotan with eye patch

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

'A message from the Vikings, sire. It says, 'we've got spirit! Yes, we do! We've got spirit! How about you!?'

Viking sitting patiently while his wife winds her wool on his helmets horns to sort it out.

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

"Magnus! How many times must I tell you...Skulls of your enemies go on the top rack!!!"

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

Really Early Vikings

Ginger God

Viking warrior has admirer.

"He may be Sven the Slayer to you, but to me he's still Mr Cuddly Bun!"

Hunding

I love invading Switzerland, just for the hot chocolate.

'After the tour feel free to roam and pillage.'

Wotan

"I am Thor, God of Thunder - and this is my brother, Low-key."

"According to our information you have placed a looted treasure in an undiscovered land..."

Wotan

'You're radiating negative energy.'

"Hopefully I'll have enough frequent pillaging points after this trip to get a new sword!"

"... No, it isn't a spelling mistake."

Brunhilde in a ring of fire

Viking takes off his horned helmet and reveals that he actually has horns.

"Deep down, I really believe the people of this country would've LOVED our brand of freedom and democracy. Too bad they didn't survive it."

"It's a concussion, Sven—you're sitting out the next siege."

Rainbow bridge to Valhalla