Viking Myths Gifts

"Call that a hammer?"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"Can Olaf come out to pillage and plunder?"

Wotan with eye patch

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

'A message from the Vikings, sire. It says, 'we've got spirit! Yes, we do! We've got spirit! How about you!?'

Viking sitting patiently while his wife winds her wool on his helmets horns to sort it out.

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

"Magnus! How many times must I tell you...Skulls of your enemies go on the top rack!!!"

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

Really Early Vikings

'You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!'

Ginger God

Viking warrior has admirer.

"He may be Sven the Slayer to you, but to me he's still Mr Cuddly Bun!"

Hunding

I love invading Switzerland, just for the hot chocolate.

'After the tour feel free to roam and pillage.'

Wotan

"I am Thor, God of Thunder - and this is my brother, Low-key."

Pillaging For Mom

"According to our information you have placed a looted treasure in an undiscovered land..."

Wotan

"Try not to think of this as a raid. We prefer to call in an external audit."

'You're radiating negative energy.'

"Hopefully I'll have enough frequent pillaging points after this trip to get a new sword!"

Viking takes off his horned helmet and reveals that he actually has horns.

Brunhilde in a ring of fire

'Well, once again he's led us to victory and... Oh, here we go. The obligatory Gatorade drenching.'

"Deep down, I really believe the people of this country would've LOVED our brand of freedom and democracy. Too bad they didn't survive it."

"It's a concussion, Sven—you're sitting out the next siege."

Rainbow bridge to Valhalla