Viking History Fan Gifts

Stabbing an opera singer to hit the high notes.

"Hi, my name is Daniel. And I am Thor..."

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

More Reasons To Beware Of Dog

Wotan with eye patch

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

"I'd heard that Farnsworth had a difficult secretary to get past."

'I miss the good old days!'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

Viking sitting patiently while his wife winds her wool on his helmets horns to sort it out.

"And I suppose you forgot to bring home the milk."

"But I use all of them!"

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

"There's always a period of adjustment whenever you hire a new crew."

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

'If all your friends were looting and pillaging, would you do it, too?'

'Raping and pillaging, Seniors' Tour, 898AD.'

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

'Could you give us a push?'

Sif instantly regretted asking Thor to hang the picture.

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

"I don't care if you are on full alert, take that silly hat off before you tear the pillows to shreds!"

"Magnus! How many times must I tell you...Skulls of your enemies go on the top rack!!!"

"Do you think the world really is going to hell, or are we just getting old?"

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

Gaah! You sank my longship!

Viking in the dock: His barrister says: 'Your honour, my client was simply expanding his business interests. We object to the use of the word 'pillaging'.'

Viking River Raids

Really Early Vikings

"They say at least 80% of us are wearing the wrong size."