Viking History Fan Gifts

Stabbing an opera singer to hit the high notes.

"Hi, my name is Daniel. And I am Thor..."

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

More Reasons To Beware Of Dog

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Wotan with eye patch

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

"I'd heard that Farnsworth had a difficult secretary to get past."

'I miss the good old days!'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

Viking sitting patiently while his wife winds her wool on his helmets horns to sort it out.

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

"But I use all of them!"

"There's always a period of adjustment whenever you hire a new crew."

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

'If all your friends were looting and pillaging, would you do it, too?'

'Raping and pillaging, Seniors' Tour, 898AD.'

Sif instantly regretted asking Thor to hang the picture.

"Magnus! How many times must I tell you...Skulls of your enemies go on the top rack!!!"

"I don't care if you are on full alert, take that silly hat off before you tear the pillows to shreds!"

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

'Could you give us a push?'

"Do you think the world really is going to hell, or are we just getting old?"

Gaah! You sank my longship!

Viking in the dock: His barrister says: 'Your honour, my client was simply expanding his business interests. We object to the use of the word 'pillaging'.'

Viking River Raids

"They say at least 80% of us are wearing the wrong size."

Really Early Vikings

"So that's five for bailing, and three for patching. If there are no objections, the chair will now hear arguments."