Viking Enthusiast Gifts

'May contain Cnuts.'

"Listen Hagar, first you pillage THEN you burn!"

'What I've just has my teeth whitened,'

"Run for your lives! It's the full 'Ring' cycle!!"

"There's always a period of adjustment whenever you hire a new crew."

'Uh oh. Ok, back to the boat.'

Viking in the dock: His barrister says: 'Your honour, my client was simply expanding his business interests. We object to the use of the word 'pillaging'.'

'The battle for hearts and minds was proving too difficult, so I thought we'd just make do with heads.'

'OK lads...not a word about the barista tournament. As far as our wives are concerned we've been at a rape and pillage seminar in Oslo.'

"He had a hat!"

'I miss the good old days!'

Hairdressing Models

"And then Joel didn't come in today, soI had to do all his pillaging."

'And Sid, I'd like you to spearhead the new committee.'

"People not from here don't understand. It's not a weapon - it's a way of life."

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

The little Viking compensates with his helmet horns.

'Welcome to Valhalla. I'm Hilde and I'll be your Valkyrie for the night.'

'The guys all chipped in Doug and got you a window seat for your birthday.'

Viking woman with long hair playing a harp.

'Burn, pillage, ravish, kill... No! Pillage, ravish, kill THEN burn.' 'Looking forward to your first raid?'

'After the tour feel free to roam and pillage.'

"What do you mean you're staying in with a good book?"

'If all your friends were looting and pillaging, would you do it, too?'

"Olaf has never been the same since we raided St. Andrews."

"It's a shame that she could never put her college degree to use."

Vikings trying to get in - "Calm yourselves the jumble sale doesn't start for another five minutes."

"Since Gerald discovered he had 5% Viking DNA he insists on fitting in a bit of pillaging before tea."

Historic Danish man using his helmet as a trumpet.

Remember when "risk management" wasn't a thing.

"They say at least 80% of us are wearing the wrong size."

Really Early Vikings

"...and on line 14 you claim 42 arrows and a battle ax as pillaging expenses, but on line 50 you claim them again under arsenal depreciation."

'You're not from around here, are you?'

'Our competition is quite energetic.'