Viking Enthusiasts Gifts

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

The Icelandic Answer

'Frankly, William, I am tired of dating the sensitive, needy types.'

'That's Olafson -- He's a mercenary.'

"You've got someone's shirt caught on your left horn."

'Our founder!' (A Viking)

"If only the men could see my fun side."

Tharg brings a note from his mother.

'Will you sorry excuse for Vikings shut up and go to sleep?!'

'Did we plunder any carbon credits?'

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

'Something bothering you, Bjornson?'

You've got mail.

"Don't get Thor about it, apparently it's quite common in Vikings of your age."

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

More Reasons To Beware Of Dog

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Wotan with eye patch

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

"I'd heard that Farnsworth had a difficult secretary to get past."

'I miss the good old days!'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"But I use all of them!"

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

"There's always a period of adjustment whenever you hire a new crew."

'If all your friends were looting and pillaging, would you do it, too?'

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

Stabbing an opera singer to hit the high notes.

'Raping and pillaging, Seniors' Tour, 898AD.'

"Magnus! How many times must I tell you...Skulls of your enemies go on the top rack!!!"

"I don't care if you are on full alert, take that silly hat off before you tear the pillows to shreds!"

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

"Do you think the world really is going to hell, or are we just getting old?"