Viking Aficionado Gifts

Don't like my slave mastering call 1-800-scream.

"They're actually quite good company, once you overcome the language barrier..."

"Because this job is dangerous enough without having to worry about dry, flaky skin."

Viking River Raids

'And make sure you leave things as they are.'

Unbeknownst to most people, the game 'footsie' was invented by the Vikings.

" ... because this job is dangerous enough without having to worry about dry, flaky skin."

'Could you give us a push?'

"This place is a real hidden gem. You can have it for as little as a six month siege."

The Happy Ship

"You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!"

Valhalla

Barbarians: These retirement parties always get a little awkward towards the end.

Viking Sissy Drink

"I don't suppose you'd be interested in a share option scheme?"

"I don't think it sends the right vibe."

Viking Rover Cruises

Viking helmet...

Brunilda on a rocking horse

Years later Thor realized that someone, had in fact, stolen his thunder.

"Thorg guards our front gate. Gar watches the back wall. And Helman is in charge of cyber security."

"Nothing like a good stretch before looting and burning."

"One day all this will be yours."

Sif instantly regretted asking Thor to hang the picture.

Never ask, Thor for a light.

'Lack of calcium - that's your problem , Sven'.

"Did anyone plunder something good to read?"

"After all the fines, they let you keep that?"

"From now on, just pillage."

"Wasn't there only ONE dead Vikings on the lawn yesterday?"

That's Lars. The guy's a total norsissist.

I'm more interested in experiences than things, honestly.

Paint. I can't decide between Blood of my Enemies and Candy Apple Red.

Here comes that guy who discovered some new land called "Texas."

Great Moments in Computer History: Vikings use plunder ratio calculating software.