Viewing Habits Gifts

Watching TV around the world

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"I AM at my usual position."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

'Slip Ahoy!'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

Fishermen

"Charles didn't like tofu."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

Beer Order

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'