Online Habits Gifts

SHOCKING!! I'm on a digital diet, cutting down my hours on social media. That's a conspiracy theory site. Your digital diet should eliminate those empty, junk food calories.

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

“Someone is not muted. I'm still hearing ambient noise. Please mute your device.”

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

'I caught him watching tv, surfing the net, and playing video games ..book him!'

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

The virtual wine tasting was a big success

"I have to give you credit. You're a pit bull and you're nice on and offline."

Which Hogwarts house are you?

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

"No, no … the sashimi is fine. But I’m not crazy about your Wi-Fi signal."

"No matter how many times Martha berated Tony, she just couldn't break him of his habit of not chewing his food."

Island and man

"Have you considered vlogging?"

"I'm taking a year out to travel round the internet."

"Before we take this any further, I'd like us to open about our internet history."

Social Networks

Screen Time at the Dining Table

Watching TV around the world

'I blog, therefore I am.'

'We're looking for a wifi hotspot.'

Social Influencers Anonymous.

'Oh, this is just great... Now how am I going to get a Wi-Fi connection?'

'What's the wi-fi like?'

'I'm just updating my Facebook profile.'

"I have to say after 45 years of marriage, nobody knows me as well as Facebook does."

Rodin's Nailbiter.

It's a beautiful day. Take your computer and invent the next crippling internet virus outside.