Habitual Tv Watcher Gifts

"You really miss her, don't you, Lou?"

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Showbiz Awards

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Television Readers.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"I find that hugely offensive!"

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

Tree house.

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

Big screen TV.

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'