Tv Watcher Extraordinaire Gifts

Yonkers Oktoberfest

Golf ball hops out of the television.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Television Readers.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

"I find that hugely offensive!"

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Tree house.

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

TV-Man

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

TV jester.

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Big screen TV.

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?