News Watcher Extraordinaire Gifts

Political Poll results are in... 'None of the above' was the overwhelming favourite.

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

UK border controls relaxed.

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

Oligarchy

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Meet the Enemy

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

Our Two Parties, Explained

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

Man Reading Laptop.

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

Fear of news.

'...Next election voters will have a choice of democrat, republican and 'generic'.'

Reporter #6: television.

'Hey!! What gives, there's nothing but a bunch of squiggly lines on this newspaper.'

Idlib, Syria - The final stage

Trump Destroying U.S. the Postal Service

"I know he's funny, boy, but he’s also the president of the United States."

'What I have to do first?!'

Capital Tours

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

"Wow. . . is that you, Mr Erdogan. . . Mr Kim Jong-un. . . Mr Putin. . . Mr Maduro. . . Mr. Bin-Salman. . . Mr al-Assad. . ."