Television Viewer Extraordinaire Gifts

'The sports seasons never end, now with all his fantasy leagues.'

"Look, a bug!"

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

TV jester.

TV-Man

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

"Which news channel should we watch?"

Heading off with a packed bag

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

Whatís that, boy? Youíre too tired for a walk and you just want to watch TV?

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

The Airport.

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."

Child hooking into a television

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

"Fred, just how remote is this remote fishing spot of yours?"

THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

"There's nothing on worth watching and we've been watching for three hours."

...and now for the news in briefs...

"The end of 'Shark Week' is near!"

"Baldo, do you have a summer reading list?"

Television guests' essentials in November.