Tv Analyst Extraordinaire Gifts

The problem is not in your set or at the station. That leaves only you, doesn't it?

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'Sue didn't watch soap operas all the time. She also reads books'

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

Succession 2

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

"Agenda item 14 C, does anyone have any idea what happened in Game of Thrones?"

I hope that "golden showers" dossier about Trump is true. That'd be awesome. How so, little buddy? Well, I was always a big fan of the cold war. I loved "Red Dawn" and "War Games" and "James Bond" and all those really cool cold war movies. If it's true that our new president is actually being blackmailed by the Russians, we might finally have a real "Manchurian Candidate." I've calculated that the number of "Twilight Zone" episodes that might still come true has just grown by half a dozen. I hop

Stimulus bust

If I survive this, I'm reinventing myself as a television pundit.

'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'

'Try putting a remote in one hand aan a beer in the other and see if he starts up.'

"Sadie, you were around in the sixties...was 'Mad Men' accurate?"

Andrew Marr

New Course At The New School

'This mindless blather is edited for TV.'

'The sports seasons never end, now with all his fantasy leagues.'

"The robbery and car chase are better in the movie but the hostage situation was definitely better on the cable news coverage."

"You might try the Trout Almandine - it's just swimming in credit card debt."

You've got to stop condescending to the customers. Whatever do you mean? You abuse them for not recycling, for eating high-fructose sugar, for watching reality tv shows. Hardly. I absolutely understand that some people who have not been blessed with a high level of education and information make foolish divisions. It's not their fault. Condescending! Good use of a big word. HOJ.

The Judgmental Algorithm

'We've got too many sitcoms, Miss Dudley -- pull the laugh tracks on half of them and run them as soaps.'

"...And now a party political broadcast from the..."

Turn off the tv! Blasphemy. I have Extreme Partisanship Syndrome. I can't hear about politics. I get too riled up. It could kill me. No more Fox, or MSNBC, or even the networks. Fine, but there are other options. Can't this kill me too? Just the mind. Tonight on Biggest Loser: Jog eating.

"Nah, I just don't fancy it anymore."

'A health report today warned skeptics, who take everything with a grain of salt, could result in abnormal hypertension. . .'

'Please stand by -- we have temporarily lost our edge.'

'I don't sit here all the time, Mom. Just June through August.'

"The What It All Comes Down To Show"

Yonkers Oktoberfest

Violence in television

'What's the best thing you've seen this week?'

'I know it's silly but I think our son enjys your company a lot more than he does mine.'

"Why do politicians spend so much money on TV commercials? TV has no influence on anything I do!"