Tv Analyst Gifts

Violence in television

'What's the best thing you've seen this week?'

Stars on Sunday - Teleprompt

Andrew Marr

In the Guru District

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'If only every year was an election year.'

Press Freedom

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Difference of Opinion

Studies show foods work miracles!

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"Which news channel should we watch?"

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

Can't Touch This

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

'Sue didn't watch soap operas all the time. She also reads books'

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

'My plan for the mid east has approval of both Houses of Congress, Oprah, Larry King, Lettermen and Leno.'

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

'Georgy Porgy kiss 'n' tell story.'