Television Analyst Gifts

The following program may be presented in such a way as to blur the truth.

"Why do politicians spend so much money on TV commercials? TV has no influence on anything I do!"

In the Guru District

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'If only every year was an election year.'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Press Freedom

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

'What does it say, Dad?'

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"Which news channel should we watch?"

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

'Sue didn't watch soap operas all the time. She also reads books'

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

'My plan for the mid east has approval of both Houses of Congress, Oprah, Larry King, Lettermen and Leno.'

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Newspaper suicide.

'Apologists today said little white lies -- but not the big lie -- may have played a part in Iraq Policies....'

'Georgy Porgy kiss 'n' tell story.'

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

"That newspaper has been showing up ever since you started reading the news online. I think it feels betrayed."

Fifty shades of Leveson.