Faithful Tv Watchers Gifts

"Watch with brother"

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Incorrect weather forecasts.

"Grandma's TV is so old it wasn't made in a foreign country."

"You don't understand, Mom. Our staying in and watching TV is not the same as you and Dad staying home and watching TV in Dayton, Ohio."

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

'We have lost the video and voice audio, but will continue with the laugh track.'

Unable to get going each day without her dose of Katie Couric, Lois shifted her schedule to be in sync with the star's new evening news job.

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

"Whatever happened to traditional marriages? There they are...on national television...with millions of people watching...two women getting married! And they're both wearing blue jeans!"

And here is the day's news that we are going shove down your throat.

Watching telly

'I think someone's asking to go out.'

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

"You will not gain any sympathy from this court by offering to give one-tenth of your haul to the Church."

The architecture was inspired by watching 'Grand Designs' on TV

TV and man

Are they dangerous? Only if I shut off the tv.

'Santa has been and he's taken our telly...'

Dog watched 'Fire Hydrants of the Rich and Famous.'

This program is made possible by donations from Don and Mary Doughaberg, and from lowlifes like you who never get their names mentioned.

Sailor notices a sea mine in his foot bath.

Hence the name.

The Sports Fanatic

'Well at least we got him off the sofa.'

'Everything these days is influenced by television.'

'And on today's show we're offering sensible advice for money worries, interspersed with adverts for crippling loans and online gambling.'

'There's nothing worth watching on TV, but he's not going to let a little thing like that stop him.'

After hours TV.

"Synchronized sitting"

"Red state, blue state, red state, blue state" --- Sometimes I get the feeling that TV news is controlled by Doctor Seuss.

'Surely you could have missed one episode of Eastenders !!'