Faithful Viewer Gifts

Religious man watching religious TV

Religious marketing, televangelist jumping out of hte TV

TV and man

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

Caption Contest TK

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

"God works in mysterious ways."

Christian and Born again Christian...

Monk Prompt

"That's the preacher's dog."

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

"Tia Carmen, I have a killer test tomorrow. Can you help?"

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

Monk and Bible and Devil Page Marker

'I wonder if there's a message up there somewhere.'

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

'Is there something bothering you, besides sin, crime, hunger, that sort of thing?'

Do you go for Hannity or O'Reilly? Tough call. O'Reilly's presence is so big, fearless. Whereas Hannity has a wicked fast tongue and such inner strength. As symbolized externally by his jawline. O'Reilly is so tall. Something strange is happening. Coulter's a bit masculine for my tastes. Ditto. HOJ.

SERMONS 'R' US - everything for the clergy.

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

Spiritual Lives Matter