Television Loyalist Gifts

'Surely you could have missed one episode of Eastenders !!'

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

'I'll sure be glad when somebody invents cable!'

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

God with Earth Controller

"Please feel free to browse."

Reserved Parking

Voter impatience.

Watching telly

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

TV and man

'I want someone who'll not just take the firms line, but the hook and sinker, too.'

Are they dangerous? Only if I shut off the tv.

'Everything these days is influenced by television.'

'There's nothing worth watching on TV, but he's not going to let a little thing like that stop him.'

'Well at least we got him off the sofa.'

Welcome to Fairway...The town with 536 holes of golf!

The Sports Fanatic

"And THEN, and THIS is the CLEVER bit...We put our advertising logo on the front of all our clothing and make people PAY for the privilege."

'Greetings earthling! - Oh no, not in the middle of 'Oprah'!'

"They went together, doctor!"

'Why should I go out in the real world when I have so much reality TV?'

'When did you first become a Fruit-of-the-Loom guys groupie?'

'...Remember, it's only going to be broadcast once!'

'What TV dinner goes best with a sitcom?'