Streaming Service Loyalist Gifts

"That's it! I'm giving up TV! Every single show is awesome! So now nothing is worth watching."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"Please feel free to browse."

Ball and Chain

'We're still crazy then ...'

I don't want to buy anything. I don't want to upgrade. Watch this! What are you doing? Looking at an ad for the new Mac laptop. My heart's not racing! What's wrong with me?! It is sleek.

"That was good, but we could have watched it on my phone."

Replica Football Merchandise

"Look, all we did was sleep together. I saved watching 'Game of Thrones' for us."

'Books that stayed books.'

'Kaplan, you've been traded. ...Sorry about the tattoos.'

'Don't look at me like that! I know it's a banned substance, OK? But how can I compete if I'm the only one in the league not using spinach?!'

'What do you mean foul? I had a shower this morning!'

"And THEN, and THIS is the CLEVER bit...We put our advertising logo on the front of all our clothing and make people PAY for the privilege."

"I wonder why the kids named me Mourinho? I hope it's not because I'll only last a few days..."

'Surely you could have missed one episode of Eastenders !!'

'When did you first become a Fruit-of-the-Loom guys groupie?'

Earth wearing Mickey Mouse hat

You're supposed to just copy it. The Archbishop says to knock off the ad libs!

Liverpool FC Chairman - "It's Man United, they want to know if we've any trophy cabinets going spare."

"Today on the Godcast, what if I told you 'commandments' were more like 'suggestments?'"

'This is an amicable split. Coach O'Neill has done a great job. We just have different ideas...'

"Yes, you're right, we definitely live in a stream, but NO, that doesn't make us streamable content!"

"A paperback?! Iv'e got hundreds of books saved on this."

'I see you haven't paid me yet!'

Arsene Wenger's piggy bank and Andre Villas Boas.

'Don't bother showing me your tattoo of the company logo... you're still fired.'

'Did you see iPlayer last night?'

"I didn't know you COULD finish Netflix."