Video Aficionado Gifts

You probably wouldn't be moved to go out with me if I simply showed you a video of a kitten playing the piano, but what if I showed you a video of a wolverine giving a Ted Talk?

Grumpy Cow

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"Bond James, Bond."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

Television Readers.

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Back to school.

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Bloody hell!"

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

Driverless cars rage.

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'