Online Aficionado Gifts

"Every two days we create more content than existed since the dawn of civilisation."

'I get all my news online.'

Internet Dude

"I'm so sorry, there is nothing I can do for him anymore...he must have been offline for at least 10 hours..."

"And in case of an emergency evacuation, please exit the aircraft 'before' posting it online."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

Driverless cars rage.

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Beer Stall

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"What did you download at school today?"

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'