Victorian Humorist Gifts

The unexpected breaking up of the seminary for young ladies

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"The Englishman goes to the beach once a year to shed his skin."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

Large print e-book.

'Oh dear, what a shame - It's raining again, Pam!'

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

'Where's my horse?'

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

Committee On Feline Healthcare

Inappropriate horse whispering.

I think I need new glasses. I swear I just saw a tiny man jump off your bridge.

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

"Cassius Clay....Muhammad Ali....was one name his chatroom nickname or user name?"

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

A man with notches in his nose for his glasses.

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

Of course you're feeling disgruntled. You've lost your voice.

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

Gunswinger

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

'Very good, but not quite 'presidential vision'.'

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'