Victorian Humorist Gifts

The unexpected breaking up of the seminary for young ladies

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"The Englishman goes to the beach once a year to shed his skin."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

Large print e-book.

'Oh dear, what a shame - It's raining again, Pam!'

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'Where's my horse?'

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

"Cassius Clay....Muhammad Ali....was one name his chatroom nickname or user name?"

Inappropriate horse whispering.

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

Committee On Feline Healthcare

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

Gunswinger

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

Of course you're feeling disgruntled. You've lost your voice.

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

'Very good, but not quite 'presidential vision'.'

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'