Vertebrae Virtuoso Gifts

Chiropractor

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"O.K., next time around let's ease up on the vibrato."

'Coleridge'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

Poetry repairman

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

Writer

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

Wino Appreciation Group

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'They call me the 'grandfather' of Hip-Hop!'

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

'Is your verdict unanimous?'