Vibrato Virtuoso Gifts

"O.K., next time around let's ease up on the vibrato."

His vibrato could melt the coldest hearts

The world wept for his vibrato

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

'Coleridge'

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

Poetry repairman

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

Wino Appreciation Group

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

Writer

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

I'm a songbird. He's my lyricist.

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"House red, sir?"

'They call me the 'grandfather' of Hip-Hop!'