Velo Virtuoso Gifts

Child cycling across 4x4 rooftops: 'Isn't it nice to see children cycling to school?'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

"O.K., next time around let's ease up on the vibrato."

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

'Coleridge'

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

Wino Appreciation Group

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

I'm a songbird. He's my lyricist.

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

Writer

Poetry repairman

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"Of course, that's only a first draft."

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'They call me the 'grandfather' of Hip-Hop!'

"Turn down the bass."