Verse Virtuosos Gifts

Alexander Pope

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

"Dear Brenda Walshe, I'm afraid that this foundation strongly discourages grant proposals in rhyming couplets."

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

'Coleridge'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Poetry repairman

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

Wino Appreciation Group

Writer

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"Of course, that's only a first draft."

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

Writer Blinds Shakespeare in Shame.

Nikolai Alekseevich Klyuev

'They call me the 'grandfather' of Hip-Hop!'

"House red, sir?"

'Once a donzel, the dyvour now settled for orts.'

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

'Is your verdict unanimous?'