Vase Virtuosos Gifts

"Can you just give it to me for free? My daughter's birthday is tomorrow and she will literally STARVE if we don't have it. You don't even have kids! What could you possibly need the money for? How heartless can you be? My daughter's birthday is ruined now. Either give it to me or sell it to someone else and give me what they paid you!! Oh and YOU drop it off. I live about 700 miles away."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

'Coleridge'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

Wino Appreciation Group

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

Writer

Poetry repairman

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

Nikolai Alekseevich Klyuev

'They call me the 'grandfather' of Hip-Hop!'

Music Freak.

Alexander Pope

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

"Turn down the bass."

"House red, sir?"