Vase Virtuosos T-Shirts

"Can you just give it to me for free? My daughter's birthday is tomorrow and she will literally STARVE if we don't have it. You don't even have kids! What could you possibly need the money for? How heartless can you be? My daughter's birthday is ruined now. Either give it to me or sell it to someone else and give me what they paid you!! Oh and YOU drop it off. I live about 700 miles away."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'Coleridge'

Wino Appreciation Group

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

I'm a songbird. He's my lyricist.

Writer

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

Poetry repairman

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

Music Freak.

'They call me the 'grandfather' of Hip-Hop!'

Nikolai Alekseevich Klyuev

"Can you recommend a suitable white wine to drink with my red wine?"

"House red, sir?"

"Turn down the bass."