Vino Virtuosos T-Shirts

"Are you really sure we're supposed to give points for sound?"

"To accompany a dish of Fire Ants, I would recommend a Chateau Condat 92..."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

'Coleridge'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

Poetry repairman

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

Writer

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

Wino Appreciation Group

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

Writer Blinds Shakespeare in Shame.

"I'm right off my quinoa doc."

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

'They call me the 'grandfather' of Hip-Hop!'

Nikolai Alekseevich Klyuev

Music Freak.