Verse Virtuosos T-Shirts

I'm a songbird. He's my lyricist.

Alexander Pope

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

Dame Edna Sitwell

"Dear Brenda Walshe, I'm afraid that this foundation strongly discourages grant proposals in rhyming couplets."

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

'Coleridge'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Writer

Poetry repairman

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

Wino Appreciation Group

"Of course, that's only a first draft."

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

"House red, sir?"

Writer Blinds Shakespeare in Shame.

"Can you recommend a suitable white wine to drink with my red wine?"