Vice Virtuoso T-Shirts

Cross eyed and crossed pits

It appeals to pride,greed,lust, sloth and envy, but we're overlooking gluttony and avarice.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'Coleridge'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

Poetry repairman

"This one's for volunteering for field trips. This one's for planning the class holiday parties. . ."

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

Wino Appreciation Group

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

Writer

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

Bring It On!

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'