Vodka Virtuoso Gifts

"Vodka on the rocks, in the rocks, around the rocks, and under the rocks."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

'How many potatoes to make a bottle of vodka?.'

Women drinking breakfast martinis.

"Right now, Kevin, my feelings are bouncing between disgust and admiration."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

'Coleridge'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Writer

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

Does "worldly goods" include intellectual property?

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

Wino Appreciation Group

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

I'm a songbird. He's my lyricist.

Poetry repairman