Vino Virtuoso Gifts

'This is is a Merlot...I didstinctly asked for a Cabernet Sauvignon! '

"Drinking? Who's drinking? I'm antioxidizing."

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'I hate making decisions - just bring me a bottle of each.'

"Listen up, everybody—Charles is going to fill us in about the Grenache grape."

"That's between me and my vintner."

Welcome to my cellar!

'Really, Bob, the Wine Fairy?'

'It's time to retire from the winemaking business, Maurice - Just look at your skin-to-pulp ratio.'

'Which of your even-numbered wines do you recommend?'

"I just read it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert on a given subject. Janet, start the clock and bring me a glass."

Man battles for his life against 'A Very Lively Little Red'

'So, who's up for seeing volume 2 of my cork collection?'

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

'We should have the matter of this evening's wine selection determined shortly.'

'How do you tell a red from a white?'

'Which wine should I serve with tofu meat loaf and seaweed salad?'

Larry Was Into Fine Wines.

Beer versus Wine

Wino Appreciation Group

"Can you recommend a suitable white wine to drink with my red wine?"

"Yes, that'll be fine. I think my wife would like something to drink too."

"Here's a nice white wine. Goes great with grooming and hairballs.

"I'm not a wine snob. You're a wine ignoramus."

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"i'm trying to remember the type of California white wine but I like, but my mind keeps drawing a blanc."

"This wasn't me, it was the bottle talking."

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

"Why before I make myself a fool because I don't know which wine goes with which meat I left the meat aside!"

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"House red, sir?"

'So, hows the ullage?'