Vault Virtuosos Gifts

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

Balancing two espresso martinis

The Work-from-Home-Polka

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

I'm a songbird. He's my lyricist.

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

Music Freak.

"Turn down the bass."

Leonard Cohen

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

Alexander Pope

Barbara Streisand

Recording Studio

"If you were truly blessed by genius, it wouldn't end there, believe you me!"

Dame Edna Sitwell

"To accompany a dish of Fire Ants, I would recommend a Chateau Condat 92..."

"This is where I keep my entire music collection."

Kid sheltering from rain inside a vault box.

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."

A Victorian lion chair is given a tail.

Pianist takes his bow whilst the singer carries on singing.

'You have a wonderfully tidy mind, Diane!'

"I was kind of hoping for 'new voices' who'd also sung before."

Sarah Vaughan

Ernie's Music. Ernie, you're opening a music store? Yep, I'm going to serve a niche market. I won't be selling CD's or any other digital music. I also won't be selling the old cassette or eight-track tapes. I'm only selling records. I'm catering to audiophiles who appreciate the unique sound quality they deliver. That's great! Are you going to adverties? Yeah, my tagline is "All sales vinyl"

'My best attribute? That would be my glottal stop.'

The reception here is awful!

Soft Speaker, Loud Speaker, Deafening Speaker

Natalie Merchant