Pasta Virtuoso Gifts

'She's just seeing if the alphabetti spaghetti's ready.'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Vegetable Cook

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

Planting veggies

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

Mom's restaurant - 'You can't leave until you've eaten your greens.'

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

Cooking with Pierre

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Show and Tell.

'Coleridge'

It's the biofuel generation.

Writer

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'The theater better put on good shows this fall, because we're having a bumper tomato crop.'