Omelette Virtuoso Gifts

Humpty omelette.

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"O.K., next time around let's ease up on the vibrato."

'Coleridge'

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

Wino Appreciation Group

Poetry repairman

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

Writer

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"House red, sir?"

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

"Vuuuuuuuuuuu!"

'They call me the 'grandfather' of Hip-Hop!'

Nikolai Alekseevich Klyuev

'Is your verdict unanimous?'