Omelette Virtuoso T-Shirts

Humpty omelette.

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

"O.K., next time around let's ease up on the vibrato."

'Coleridge'

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

Poetry repairman

Wino Appreciation Group

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

Writer

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

I'm a songbird. He's my lyricist.

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

Alexander Pope

'They call me the 'grandfather' of Hip-Hop!'

"House red, sir?"

"Vuuuuuuuuuuu!"

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

"Can you recommend a suitable white wine to drink with my red wine?"