Veggie Defender Gifts

"Eat those veggies or I'll change the wi-fi password!"

"All you plant-loving sissies can leave the room while we show you some big, juicy hamburgers!"

Gardener trying to protect his crops from pests.

"Dad - there's some people at the door from 'The Sprout Defence League...?'"

Prize vegetables.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Better Not Squash.

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

'great win, kids! Let's celebrate... My treat!!'

"Relax. They're just crows."

Mom's Diner/Mom's Desserts

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

TV's hot new political show: Meet the Produce. From the left, a giant carrot. From the right, big broccoli. Let's be frank. The Republicans have no fiscal discipline. And the tax-and-spend liberals do? We're not ballooning the deficit! Waging war to promote freedom is not free! You stupid rotten vegetable! You're low in vitamin E! Cut to commercial.

"Don't try the candied yams and sweet peas, turns out they are vegetables."

“Children hate me.”

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

The vegan hunter

'The only thing I grow in my garden is tired!'

"Good boy Alex! You've eaten all your vegetables again."

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"

'For heaven's sake Armitage - can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category?'

"If dinner was a reality TV show broccoli would be the first thing I'd vote off!!"

'I'm sorry but I can't bring out the dessert menu until both of you have eaten your veggies, company policy.'

'Look! I grew a carrot!'

'No Jennifer! I never head of mad broccoli disease.'

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'

"What would I have to do to be sent to my room without just the Brussels sprouts?"

"You know, if lima beans, cauliflower and broccoli tasted like candy and ice cream, we wouldn't have to go through this every night!"

'Oh... you're gonna eat those peas, mister.'

Mom & Dad Recipe Corner

"Little girls are made from sugar and spice. . . not cabbage."

'This stuff isn't genetically engineered, is it?'

The great zucchinis