Veggie Detective Gifts

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

"Good boy Alex! You've eaten all your vegetables again."

'This stuff isn't genetically engineered, is it?'

"Don't try the candied yams and sweet peas, turns out they are vegetables."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

Vegetarian Nightmare.

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

If we build raised beds and a compost bin now

Taken genetic engineering too far

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

'No, you can't turn your vegetables into bio-fuel.'

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

"'Tofu'? Qu'est-ce que c'est 'tofu'?"

'Mom, your diet says you can eat all the vegetables you want. Wow! A diet without vegetables!'

'So, that's settled - the eyes have it!'

'The only thing I grow in my garden is tired!'

"I remember when we wouldn't buy the bent knobbly ones. Now we pay twice as much for them."

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."

'I'm sorry but I can't bring out the dessert menu until both of you have eaten your veggies, company policy.'

'I'm in a lot of trouble, but it's worth it. There's not enough dirt left to grow spinach.'

"Do we HAVE to be omnivores?"

We've been working on them in the wind tunnel...

Dreams of Spring...

"Noooo, nothing I'd really call fresh. Freshish maybe."