Vegetarian Adventurer Gifts

"I'm in the mood for meat."

The mission: Impossible burger.

'I'm going for the vegetarian.'

Come dine with me!

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

6 Brothers Falafel

"You owe me five bucks."

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

Try to guess the continent dining...

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Before/After

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

Holiday Supplies

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

"The pizza came late and it was cold!"

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

Tzatzikicicle

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.