Vegan Pioneer Gifts

Here's to Militant Apathy

"States of tofu"

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

Queen of Quinoa

Before/After

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Give quiche a chance!

"Is there a vegan option?"

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

"Dig in. It's a medallion-of-veal look-alike."

'New Barbeque.'

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'It's the LAST time I volunteer to organise the staff Christmas meal, I've spent three days trying to find a 'traditional' lacto-vegan Christmas menu.'

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

'Smile and say: tofu-based dairy substitute.'

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

"How did you cure your dog of begging for food?"

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

Dale regretted going to the Vegan restaurant.

"'Tofu'? Qu'est-ce que c'est 'tofu'?"

"It helps if you think of it as a turkey."

"Repeat after me... We are vegan... We are vegan..."

Your life is in great danger...