Veg Vigilante Pillows

Don't feed the bears vegetables.

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

Scarecrows guarding a field

The new global mantra flag for the future

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

"Relax. They're just crows."

About 40% of the nation's coronavirus deaths could have been prevented...

Johnson allows the Delta variant to run wild in Britain

You can relax now.

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

"Want to score some flu shots.?"

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

'Drugs' 'Viruses'.

Guns won't help

"I can’t come to bed yet. I have bulbs to plant."

Anti-Vaxer

Coronavirus dancing around an EU flag

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

Wrong ways to wear a face mask.

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

"Stocks closed higher on news that despite market volatility, Edgar Freund, just an average investor from Petoskey, Michigan, decided not to sell anything."

Ebola Clinic

'I'm sorry but I can't bring out the dessert menu until both of you have eaten your veggies, company policy.'

"Okay, Okay... the vaccine has side effects, but at least social distancing is guaranteed."

Omicron: "Viva 2022!"

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

Fair readers, please accept these personal tips for remaining healthy and germ free. Public service announcement! Keep your stress low. Exercise, eat right, hydrate and try to get a little affection in your life, if you get my meaning. If you use someone else's computer, wipe down the keyboard with alcohol to kill the germs. Ditto with the mouthpiece of a borrowed cellular phone. Don't touch anything or anyone. Bathe yourself in hand sanitizer. Don't leave the house, and if you do, don't inhale

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I wish I had emotions like people do. I wish I could think as logically as people do. I'd like to take a walk along the shoreline without rusting. Storing energy in a battery rather than a pot belly would be nice. Having a sense of humor would be fun. The ability to selectively delete memories would be great to have. I wish I didn't have to worry about digital viruses. I wish I didn't have to worry about biological viruses.

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A garden Part 7

'Well doctor, is it serious?'

'There's a gleam in his eye!'

'I've brought my attorney along to read the small print.'