Valentine Humorist Gifts

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"Yo, Ned Beatty, paddle harder if you ever want to kiss me again."

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

Phoenix

"How barbaric! Females should be wooed by colourful displays, not fighting!"

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

Barman In Love.

Tunnel of Like.

"I think it was good for me. Was it good for you?"

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

'Will you marry me, Gloria?'

'I love you, Howard, but let's not jump to conclusions.'

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"Or...we could suggest a three-way."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

Caterpillars in love

'For the last time, Butchie, I love you but I'm not in love with you.'

Homophone Encounter

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

Dating in 2020

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

"I never turn into a prince on a first date."

'To begin with, he's from Mars, I'm from Venus...'

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

'I hear they wrote their own vows.'