Valentine's Day Humor Lover Gifts

"Of course I'm Cupid...that's an old picture!"

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

"Honk if you love me!"

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

His and Hers Wedding

'Butch, did you shoot my liberty valance?'

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

"I do want to talk about your feelings but first let's talk about cheese."

'If you really loved me, you'd stay downwind.'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

Frog Prince holds sign: 'Will work for kisses'.

'I don't want anything for myself...But if it's not too much trouble, please send my mother a son-in-law who's a Doctor...'

"Must you sing, 'I'm in the mood for love' everytime you want sex?"

"Let's not get too hot for each other. I want us to last."

"She said don't forget the straw."

"Fancy crashing at my pad later, babe?"

Safe driver.

"I love you, even though you still use a flip phone."

'The Ref gave out 4 yellow cards, 2 reds and 7 Valentine cards.'

"Tell me about yourself... what you do, where you live, the last four digits of your social security number..."

"Honey, guess what? My therapist finally got me to cry!"

"I deliberately married an archaeologist because I thought the older I got, the more interest you would show in me..."

'Listen I think we should break up...it's not you... it's that thing on your face.'

"I'm full of self loathing. This year I didn't even send myself a Valentine's Day card!"

"Get with the program, Barry, the certificate clearly said, 'till death do we part'."

Rodin & condom.

"This new guy's really good!"

"That was good, but less tongue next time."

"Red, roses are, blue, violets are, sweet, sugar is. messed up the poem, I did."

'It would be a dream home if you were to move in with me.'

"They're free Valentine's Day gifts...chocolate flavored dental floss."

Lovers' hop - for the less agile.