Vacuum Cleaners Gifts

"It's a loaner until mine is back from the shop."

Another annoying window-to-window salesman.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

"The good news is...you've one less window to wash."

"Thank God you're home. Someone crapped on the carpet again."

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

The household cavalry

Pest Control

NASA HEADQUARTERS, ACME VACUUM CLEANERS, 'Hi! - I understand that space is full of junk?'

'Whatever you do, don't tell them you think you're ready to take on more responsibility!'

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

"They weren't kidding when they said a women's work is never done!"

Niche Extracurriculars

'It says, please disregard this reminder if your payment has already been sent.'

"That one killed my manservant, it fell on his head while he was vacuuming the carpet."

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)

"Would you mind filling this with confetti?"

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

'Only the high-traffic path needs cleaning - from the couch to the bar.'

"Clean your specs, lady?"

Super glue hoovering

Plane windscreen cleaner

'The staff are calling for transparent management Miss Beamish and this is it.'

'Oh my god, it's the Grim Housekeeper!'

"On second thought Rex, I may just leaven them until spring."

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

"This is supposed to be the clean room so we'll give it an additional five minutes."

'As a teleworker Colin sometimes struggled against feelings of isolation.'

"I was quite pleased to find a job which allows me to see more of my husband."

Window Cleaner asks for help.

Human Dust Buster