Home Vacuuming Gifts

Underneath an overweight.

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Biofelineism

Yardless: Please help

Man using to much bug spray

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"Drunk, yet orderly"

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"The trees are laughing at us."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

The household cavalry

Pest Control

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

Timber preservation

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

NASA HEADQUARTERS, ACME VACUUM CLEANERS, 'Hi! - I understand that space is full of junk?'

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

"They weren't kidding when they said a women's work is never done!"

Niche Extracurriculars

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'