Uv Aficionado Gifts

'We have every artificial tanning method under the sun.'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Television Readers.

"This year we decided to vacation on the 3rd rock."

Vlad the Inhaler

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

Astral Projection

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

"Mine's still in bed."

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

Turtle Trailer Court

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Twister:Rural Social Networking

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

Dracula vacationing in Venice feeding bats in the Piazza of St. Mark.

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

100 best beheadings

"He's an indoor cat."

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

"To be honest, I'm leaving public service so I can make some real money as a talking head on a cable news network."

Couch and Potato