Suv Aficionado Gifts

The SUV: A T-rex on wheels.

"Bloody Chelsea Tractors!"

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

Hummer Hell

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"Do you buy cars here?"

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

'It seats two comfortably.'

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Mohammad's motors

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

Route 666

It's great for pulling the birds!

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

Inflating Boobs.

Turmoil change.

"I've narrowed the problem down to somewhere under this big flap I discovered."

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

(I ride a harley, I drive a porsche, I smoke cigars, I drink martinis...) (So, ….You're impotent?)

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

'We'll have you practising in a milk float in no time!'