Suv Aficionado Gifts

The SUV: A T-rex on wheels.

"Bloody Chelsea Tractors!"

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

'It seats two comfortably.'

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

Mohammad's motors

Route 666

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

It's great for pulling the birds!

Inflating Boobs.

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

Turmoil change.

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

(I ride a harley, I drive a porsche, I smoke cigars, I drink martinis...) (So, ….You're impotent?)

"An enormous amount of advanced engineering has gone into our latest models. That's not to say, of course, that an enormous amount of advanced engineering hasn't always gone into all our models."

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

'We'll have you practising in a milk float in no time!'

The tinman was hoping his wife liked the new muffler he bought her.