Automobile Aficionado Gifts

"Do you need an anthropomorphic car with a monkey chauffeur in the city? No. Do you want it? Definitely."

'Sorry. No trade-ins.'

'According to our diagnostic computer, your car wants to have $800 spent on it.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

Cat wash.

"We breed them for aggressiveness."

'If you lose your electrical charge before you get to a recharge, you just wind this.'

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'Suddenly it was apparent where Jack was headed.'

His attitude is 'if it ain't broke, fix it anyway'.

'Are we there yet?'

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

'Don't tell me to watch my language! You give me this sort of quote, I'll give you this sort of quote!'

"We raised the price but lowered the down payment.. so it kind of evens out."

"This is a terrible table!"

'Hey, Earl, do we stock the rear end for a '57 Caucasan?'

Car carrier trailer doubles as school bus.

TS Motors Inc.

"The new 4x4x4x4x4."

'If you drive it like they do in the advertisements, you void the warranty.'

The insurance company says we can't insure the car till we scrape the Ralph Nader sticker off.

'It should be changed every 3000 miles? Better change it three times, then.'

"At first, I thought it was gunfire."

"Is it day or night, officer?"

'His first word wasn't mom or dad, it was Cadillac. I can tell the kid's alredy got taste.'

What's Next

The car showroom

"I wanted a cute little Italian subcompact. Even took one out for a test drive - but it made my bum look Fiat."

Insert a coin to lower the bridge.

Jack Frankenstein sold cars. Mostly hatchbacks to hunchbacks.

Suddenly Jimmy didn't feel so alone in the world.

"You have 24/7 roadside assistance to compensate for your new car's immediate depreciation."

Man cleans car but not his dirty children

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

'I don't like being a crash test dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'